A Submissive Woman Forgiven

So I thought I’d put my money where my mouth is and actually get down to writing some kink/BDSM themed sexual theology. If I’m going to seriously explore this side of theology and ministry I figured there’d be no better place to start then in some harmless blog posts, and in true indecent theological style I’m writing without any underwear on, just to make Marcella proud.[1]

I thought I’d pick a passage that was really opened up to me a few weeks ago when it was reflected upon focusing upon the sexuality of the woman involved.[2]

The passage is Luke 7:36-50, Jesus forgives a sinful Woman.

In this passage Jesus is invited to eat in the home of a Pharisee when a woman, who is believed to be a sex worker, comes to wash His feet. As a sex worker the woman would have been considered ritually unclean and would have been at the bottom of the social order, an outsider. By standing behind Jesus, and therefore outside the conversation, and then washing His feet this woman is acting in a submissive nature. Traditionally this act is understood as a “socially” submissive act, ancient Middle Eastern guests often had their feet washed by the female house slave and so this would not have been unnatural. However this woman is not a house slave, she has come in off the streets and so is not performing this act out of duty. No, for her it is something different. This is an act of thanks, of praise, of worship. She is doing this because she feels utterly compelled to give thanks for what she has received from someone who is above her.

This woman has entered a space with people who were her social dominants and receives complete and total forgiveness of her sins from Jesus.

But how can she repay Him? As a sex worker she would have been poor and so not had anything spare to give to Jesus. All she has is her self and who she is.

As humans we are sexual beings and this woman would have been no stranger to this notion. Why then shouldn’t she offer herself fully to Christ in thanks for what He has done? She bends down at His feet and washes them, worships them, services them.

This woman performs a submissive sexual act of foot worship on her social dominant. If we actually imagine the act there is no other way to see this then as the perfect, intimate submissive act. This is no withdrawn sterile action of dipping Jesus’ feet in a bowl and then drying them at arm’s length with a towel, she washes His feet with her tears and hair. She is knelt down behind Him with her face pressed up against His feet and ankles, using her hair to wipe away the shed tears and rub in the pungent ointment.

In the D/s world this is often the way a submissive will greet a dominant as well as being a way of giving thanks for rewards or following punishments. It does not necessarily involve a foot fetish and so we can see this act by the woman as an act of sexual devotion rather then as a need to fulfil any paraphillic desire.

In fact since hearing another reflection and actually imagining this act properly I can’t help but see it as anything other then sexual devotion. If she wished to give thanks she could have vocalised it. If she wanted to wash His feet she could have used a bowl and linen. No, this is so much more then that. This woman is so over powered by Jesus, His presence, His demeanour, what He has done for her, that she can not help herself but perform this obedient submissive sexual act for Him in front of everyone.

She is so overcome with this feeling of submission that she can do nothing else but fully enter into the scene and perform for Jesus who not only lets her, but welcomes her to act. Her submission is so total that she is willing to perform it in the middle of everyone out of fearless, complete and utter devotion to her Master who has given her everything!

People often talk about being unable to vocalise their love and adoration for Jesus and how submissive they feel towards God as Master or Mistress.

How glorious would it be if we could perform acts like this woman? Embrace our sexual and submissive natures and use our bodies freely, uninhibited and uncaring of how others perceive us in total adoration and submission to our heavenly Dominant. To enter into God’s space with the humility and adoration of the submissive woman and submit ourselves to His care and service.

---

[1] Marcella Althaus-Reid, Indecent theology : theological perversions in sex, gender and politics, (London : Routledge, 2000)

[2] *Disclaimer* - I am fully aware that what I have done here is stretch and warp and bend the passage and taken a large dollop of artistic license, but I feel that is the best way to do theology and Bible reflection, to stretch the text to breaking point. Also it’s a bit of fun and is aimed more at those outside the church then in, and if it helps people take a second look at Jesus and how to approach God then surely it can’t be a bad thing?

The Good Shepard

Fewer video games in recent times have created such loved lead characters as the Mass Effect Trilogy. With the ability to fully customise the look, feel and even gender of the main character and then not only being able to make every decision in the game for the main character but also to choose what they say in each conversation, and thus being fully in control of the characters personality as well as image, no other game has been able to create this sense that the player “owns” the character and so build an intensely personal relationship with them.

Conversations, debates and forums have been over run with arguments about “what would commander Shepard do?” and it’s no surprise when it’s possible for two players to have two completely different ideas about what or who commander Shepard is.

This has many similarities to when Christians ask the same kinds of questions regarding Jesus. The four gospels themselves all display a different side and character to Jesus. Often these different sides appear incompatible and as a result people have built up their own ideas about who Jesus was and how he acted, their own personal Jesus if you will.

The similarities between Shepard and Christ don’t stop at how players/believers perceive them though.

Commander Shepard comes bounding onto the scene thrust straight into the action (much like Jesus in Marks gospel) and sets the ball rolling on a vast galaxy spanning quest to defeat the great evil hanging over creation’s head and thus liberate the universe from the fear of death.

Throughout this quest Commander Shepard encounters several situations that have similar overtones to those Jesus of Nazareth faced, not literally on a galactic scale or with the extinction of various alien species for example, but in how they both interact to these situations and with the people involved.  Both Christ and Commander dedicate a lot of their time to preaching about the soon to be end of the world and that it is now time to change our ways and live as if that future time was now.

Shepard often finds him/herself in situations where s/he is able to offer forgiveness and reconciliation between characters. S/he is able to end a conflict between two races by encouraging Tali the Quarian and Legion, a Geth, to forgive each other and their races and so allow the two species to be reconciled.  Shepard, like Christ, is also a healer helping to cure the Genophage, a decision which also requires forgiveness on the part of the two species involved. Finally after three massive games and constant battles against his/her foes Shepard comes to the end and eventually has to sacrifice him/herself to save the galaxy and usher in a new era of prosperity and freedom for all of creation.

Both Shepard and Christ show huge amounts of compassion during their ministries both for their inner circle of friends and for life in general. Rather then commit genocide Shepard can choose to release the last remaining survivors of an insect race and on several occasions Shepard can choose to show mercy to characters who many would believe to be deserving of punishment. However, as with Jesus, it’s not all love and happiness as Shepard is also prone to chastise his/her followers for not understanding the situation and violent displays of anger similar to those witnessed in Jerusalem’s temple.  

These interactions with the various inhabitants of the world are where some of the strongest similarities can be made. For their constant criticism of the ruling elite both Jesus and Shepard are attacked, vilified and labelled crazy and or dangerous, and whilst Shepard isn’t condemned to death, as Jesus was, S/he finds herself never truly being believed or honoured by those in charge until it is too late.

On the more positive side of personal relationships Shepard and Jesus have a lot more in common. Both famously build a strong inner circle of trusted disciples with which they carry out their mission. They also spend a lot of time teaching their respective disciples and through out both the Gospels and games we see the group of disciples grow and change as their leader helps them through the trials and tribulations of being a follower of Christ or Shepard.

The range of disciples the two leaders collect are also similar. Shepard doesn’t limit her/his choices to the human race or soldiers. Within his/her inner circle humans rub shoulders with Quarians, Turians, Salarians, Krogans and sentient machines EDI and Legion. Their skills range from soldier to doctor to scientist to computer hacker to assassin to thief  Shepards team is as varied as the galaxy s/he has come to save. Likewise Jesus’s diciples were a motley crew of people. He had zealots, tax collectors, jews, Galileans, Romans, prostitutes, men and women, young and old. Both saviours chose from the down-and-outs of society and made sure everyone was included and respected equally and so everyone can share in their victories.

Shepard doesn’t keep the relationship on a commander – troops level though. Like Jesus s/he lives along side them, sharing in their lives, like Jesus at the wedding at Cana or at the tomb of Lazarus s/he shares their joy and weeps at their passing. Shepard and Christ are both loving, caring leaders.

This is just a very brief, and rather shallow, write up of some of the similarities between Commander Shepard of the Normandy and Jesus Christ of Nazareth. There are also a lot more intricate and detailed similarities that could be explored, the use of the ancient Prothean knowledge mirroring the use of scripture for example, but I don’t have the time to go into that much detail here (maybe at college….).

Though one was based in Palestine 2000 years ago and the other on an interstellar spaceship 10,000+ years in the future, the similarities are startling (Shepard even undergoes resurrection at the start of ME2!). The fact that they both stood for peace and reconciliation, whilst enabling others to grow and develop and then eventually sacrificing themselves to save all of creation is enough for them both to be labelled the Good Shepard. 

P.S. I am aware of the glaring omission of the fact that Jesus didn't use guns or spaceships in my comparison between the two. 

P.S.S. I am also aware that these comparisons only work if the player plays a "good" Shepard. You can actually play the game and make decisions and comments that would make Shepard more anti-Christ then divine savior. 

Ascension day Sermon... is this the end?

“on the third day he rose again;

he ascended into heaven, and is seated at the right hand of God the Father”

The simplicity of these two lines from the creed that we recite here every Sunday, seems to play down the huge significance of the events that happened nearly two thousand years ago. The two statements bookend many other events taking place over the course of 40 days and so to only include those two key events does a great disservice to that hugely busy and exciting time.

So much can happen in 40 days…..

If we look back at what has happened here in this church alone, we’ve had a soup lunch, a concert, hosted a vocations weekend, held 2 film evenings and collectively worshiped at more services then I can count. And that only scratches the surface of what we’ve done since Easter morning.

If we look at what happened in ancient Israel 2000 years ago with the disciples and the various resurrection experiences it is equally as busy. Jesus made two appearances on Easter morning, he ate supper in the looked room, accompanied a pair on the road to Emmaus and gave fishing advice to those struggling on a boat amongst many other acts that are apparently too many to number.

So why then did the authors of the creed choose to only include his death and resurrection and leave out the bits in between? Why not include the line “he appeared to his disciples” or “he cooked fish on the beach”? Is it simply because they lack the poetry or grandeur of the rest of text or that they don’t quite fit in with the writing style?

Or is it because the ascension in to Heaven over shadows all other post resurrection appearances?

Christ’s final act on this world is the summing up of his earthly duty. He has taught in the synagogues, challenged the religious and political status quo, suffered under Pontius Pilate, been crucified, died and buried and then on the third day has risen again.

Then with his various appearances during the 40 days, he has proven his resurrection is not just a trick, or ghostly apparition.

However it is his ascension alone that proves that his is the ultimate victory. By ascending to Heaven he shows beyond any doubt that he has defeated death, conquered sin and is fully resurrected.

He entered the world in silence and secrecy; he leaves it in fitting pomp and ceremony – ascending through the clouds to take up his rightful place at the right hand of the father in glory. He has been transformed from the wandering rabbi from Nazareth to the eternal Prince of Peace, king of the universe.

 

If he had not defeated death, if he was still merely mortal, he would have had to suffer another death in order to leave this world. On the other hand if his mission was not complete he would have had to continue working in the world, constantly appearing and teaching people. No, by ascending he proved that it was finished. His victory secured and his work done.

But what then?

What happens now that Jesus has finished his Fathers work, death is defeated and sins are forgiven?

What about the disciples?

 For the second time in just over a month their leader, teacher, friend is willingly leaving them. This time however he leaves them in glory. Their reaction to this parting is reversed, rather then despair there is joy, instead of weeping they rejoice. For they know now why he must go. They know the ending of the story, Jesus has told them “the Messiah had to suffer and rise from the dead” he has “opened their minds” to the scriptures, all is revealed. And unlike last time he is leaving them with clear instructions. The great commission as it has come to be known; that

“repentance and forgiveness of sins is to be proclaimed in his name to all nations”.

Rather then leaving them scattered he gives them a simple instruction, go into the world and tell them about me.

This new commandment is greater then anything he has given them before. His earlier teaching was localised to themselves, their own lives or Judaism alone. Now however he has ordered them out to proclaim the good news to the whole world not just to the Jews. It is because of this that we have Paul’s great statement “there is neither Jew nor Greek, male nor female, slave nor free” Jesus commanded his disciples to start at Jerusalem and work out, to the ends of the earth to ALL Nations and this has happened right up to the present day.

The task of spreading the news to all nations could not possibly be achieved by the few that were present when Jesus was speaking and so it is a task that must be taken up by all believers.

As Jesus’ disciples we too fall under of the great commission. We too are called to go out and proclaim repentance and forgiveness of sins in Christ’s name.

Spreading the Gospel message is a task that we can all under take, no matter who we are or what nation we come from. The disciple’s lives and teaching as recorded in the next great story, found in the book of acts, is our hand guide.

It is something every Christian can and often is, already doing. To spread the Good news is not to stand on the street corner with a megaphone in one hand and a Bible in the other it is much more then that. It is to live. To live as witnesses to Christ and to follow his teachings to the best of our abilities.

Jesus has commissioned us to live our whole lives as witnesses to his resurrection and all that brings with it just as the disciples did thousands of years ago. We can proclaim forgiveness and repentance of sins simply by the way we live and act in our community. That is the truly great Christian story that we are part of.

And so though the ascension in to Heaven is the end of Jesus’ story it is also the beginning of our story as his disciples. 

BAP, Baked Potato and the Death and Return of Superman

So after my first BAP was delayed, (a rather painful decision at the time but one that with hindsight I now know was the right decision) I was off to Shallowford for three days where I would hope to persuade three Bishop’s advisors that I was being called to ordained ministry in the Church of England. Following the storm my train was cancelled, annoying yes but it wouldn’t have been the same experience unless something catastrophic went wrong right at the beginning.

Shallowford house is set in the middle of the Staffordshire countryside, just outside a tiny village right next to the main train line. Situated within large grounds, complete with a croquette lawn and chickens, the house is an ideal place for a retreat centre.

I was fortunate enough to have a large ground floor, en suite room complete with desk and several comfy chairs. The house comes complete with several meeting rooms, a library, large kitchen and dinning area (the food was absolutely fantastic!) and large open chapel where worship was held 3 times a day throughout our stay.

After arriving and unpacking the few things I had brought I ventured out to meet my fellow candidates. Starting with the inevitable icebreaking activities I met the people in my group. We were a varied lot with young and old (two others in their early twenties included), male and female, high and low church, former parish assistants, readers and church wardens.  Everyone was friendly and open which helped us all relax into each others company, though one or two drinks in the bar afterwards also helped!

Day two started with the group presentations which involved everyone trying their hardest to be confrontational whilst still remaining painfully polite to one another. Going sixth out of eight allowed me plenty of time to get the hang of the group for my turn chairing the discussion which helped. After that I had two of my three interviews, interviews not really being the right word for them as they were all very relaxed and more like intimate chats with each of the advisors. Rather then being put on the spot I was asked a question and we discussed the answer together.

With my second day being jam packed with things my final day was a lot calmer and more relaxed giving me plenty of time to write my pastoral exercise and walk the grounds. My last interview was just before lunch and as I’d finished my pastoral exercise I was free until 4pm so could unwind after the intensity of the three days.

I was advised to act my self at the conference and thanks to the nature of the people and the relaxed nature of the interviews I felt perfectly able to. I wore clothes I was comfortable in including my high top trainers, the same ones I wore under my alb at my last service as sub-deacon (I did stop short of wearing my stripy red trousers though!). I was honest and open and felt relaxed enough to talk about how the punk band The Dead Kennedys

had helped me discover radical Christianity and that I find it easier to find God and the Christian message in The Death and Return of Superman, then I do in other contemporary and classical fiction as well as talking about the more serious  side of my vocational journey.

I think that was what helped me the most; making sure I was relaxed enough to be my self and to not be afraid to completely share myself with the advisors.

 We often try to think that they are looking for the perfect model ordinand and we try and act like this fabled non-existent person but as my mum pointed out, God has called you, not the perfect ordinand, and if the advisers meet this “ideal ordinand” they haven’t met the person that God has called.

The three day conference was probably the most stressful and intense three days I’ve ever experienced. However they were also some of the most enjoyable three days I’ve ever experienced. And thankfully I won’t have to go through it all again!

The Theology of Slayer

God Hates Us All:

2he theology of slayer

First of all I am writing this as a metal fan, a Christian and most importantly for a bit of fun. I’m not hear to once again berate Slayer for their anti-Christian views nor am I trying to twist Slayer’s lyrics or music to show how they’ve actually secretly been Christian all this time. I am merely trying to show how some of Slayer’s music is yet another unique voice that can teach us about the nature of God.

So Slayer. Glorious blasphemic Slayer. Probably one of the most important and influential metal bands ever, if not the most important as far as extreme metal goes.

But why look at them theologically? Well because alongside war and serial killers, religion, faith and God are the only things the band seem interested in, and like other metal giants, Black Sabbath and Judas Priest’s Rob Halford, the members faith is far more complex then their lyrical themes would suggest. Lead singer Tom Araya, when talking about his faith, has said "I believe in a supreme being, yeah. But He's an all-loving God." And that Christ "...came and taught us about love, about doing unto others. That was his preach: Accept each other for who we are. Live peacefully, and love one another."[1] Both of which seem contrary to a lot of what Slayer has to say about the two subjects.

I’m only going to be able to look at two albums, “1988’s South Of Heaven and 2001’s God Hates us All)  in detail here due to the self-imposed word limit but there is a whole lot more to be said on this subject. Also all of this is my own interpretation and should in no way be taken or understood as the band’s own views or what the songs literally mean.

But before going into a more detailed look at some of their music I’d like to look at some of the broader religious themes found in Slayer’s music. First of all the band’s iconic imagery. When not picturing nazi-esc soldiers and weaponry the artwork the band favours is almost exclusively religious. Larry Carroll’s iconic album art work for their albums depicts scenes of Hell many of which would not look unfamiliar in an exhibition along side medieval artwork of the reformation. The covers feature all manor of religious imagery and symbolism such as gothic architecture, crosses both inverted and the right-way up, people suffering stigmata, the devil, angels, several popes in hell (Dante would be proud) and Christ himself, most infamously on the 2006 album Christ Illusion which was banned in India. So whilst the images focus upon the negative aspects of the Christian faith they do all owe a huge debt. To write the art off as immature satanic scribbles would be a huge disservice as the images display many of the themes found within the writings and art of medieval and reformation Christians, particularly those based on what happens to us after we die. So Slayer start to ask us all sorts of theological questions before we even hit play.

The other aspect of Slayer’s music I’d like to quickly look at broadly is their lyrical style. The rhetoric they use borrows heavily from Biblical sources and many of their verse could be borrowed straight from an evangelistic preacher’s sermon book. Songs about suffering and hell seem eerily similar to the Psalmist’s laments and scenes of destruction they describe might as well be borrowed from many of the Old Testament prophets. I have also verged at a funeral where a friend of the deceased stood up and warned us all that hell awaits in a vitriolic fashion that Tom Araya would be proud of. Despite critics often deriding Slayer’s style as self-parodying with their over the top I think some credit is due to Slayer’s use of religious imagery some of it is rather clever, for example “abolish the rules made of stone” clearly being a reference to the ten commandments.

And so onto a closer look at some of Slayer’s albums, first off it’s South Of Heaven. After releasing the genre defining Reign in Blood the band choose wisely to try and take a slightly different approach and so took their foot off the accelerator and slowed things down a bit. This however only strengthened their sound and allowed them to explore more complex themes. The name of the album eludes back to the medieval idea of Heaven and Hell being physical places that people went to and so being south of Heaven implies that you have failed to get in to Heaven above. The title track (listen here) is probably the perfect example of Slayer’s theology, it is a dark menacing song and lyrically provides us with what slayer seem to believe is life without God.

An unforseen future nestled somewhere in time.
Unsuspecting victims no warnings, no signs.
Judgment day the second coming arrives.
Before you see the light you must die.

Forgotten children, conform a new faith,
Avidity and lust controlled by hate.
(The) Never ending search for your shattered sanity,
Souls of Damnation in their own reality.

Chaos rampant,
An age of distrust.
Confrontations.
Impulsive habitat.

Only you’re south of Heaven

Bastard sons begat your cunting daughters,
Promiscuous mothers with your incestuous fathers.
Engreat souls condemned for all eternity,
Obtained by immoral observance a domineering deity.

The root of all evil is the heart of a black soul.
A force that has lived all eternity.
The never ending search for a truth never told.
The loss of all hope and your dignity.

The song starts off describing the coming judgment day, revealed to John in the final book of the Bible and unlike some famous American evangelists Slayer correctly explain that it is not for us to know when this judgment day will come. As Paul explains in his letter to the Thessalonians “

the day of the Lord will come like a thief in the night. as labour pains on a pregnant woman”[2]. The verse ends with quite a profound point, “Before you see the light you must die”. Christians are often far to concerned about the wonderful things in life, the joy of being saved through the light of Christ. But they often forget that in order to do that we must first die. People do not like to suffer. We prefer to live our lives in the sun, the happy places and comfortable places, in the light. But in order to get to those places we must first travel through the darkness, we have to have suffering in order to have pleasure, there would be no Easter Sunday without first having a Good Friday and here Slayer serve us with a timely reminder that in order to get to the light we must travel through the pain and suffering that life brings.

The song then goes on to talk about what happens to those who are left “south of Heaven” i.e. those who are now living in either a post judgment day Earth or Hell and therefore without God. The scene Slayer paints is one of chaos, violence and despair. A world without rules, where God is no longer present and so is governed by sin. Without the need to live within moral and ethical boundaries humanity descends back to a primitive state where “Bastard sons begat your cunting daughters”. The true nature of humanity is shown for what it is and here Slayer are claiming that without a higher purpose or truth humanity can not function.

By describing what life is like without God and looking at what has been taken away we can see what God brings by His presence and therefore gain an idea of what God’s nature is. Here slayer argue that without God in the world there is chaos, anger and violence, and so God, in Slayer’s eyes, must be order, love and peace.

Here Slayer are displaying a form of theology called Apophatic, or negative, theology which is when the nature of God is understood by stating what God is not. By describing what the world is like without God and so showing what God is not, Slayer can help us to better understand what God is.

Another theme that is brought up in the song is that of spiritual truth. The “forgotten children” left south of Heaven start to search for understanding in their new lives without God. They create a “new faith” presumably to replace the one they have lost now they are abandoned but they find this self made faith without God empty. Here it seems that Slayer are arguing that a faith/spirituality without some sort of God is destined to fail. The people who have confirmed this search do not find their fill, they are stuck in “a never ending search” in “their own reality” presumably because they have put themselves in the centre rather then something higher then themselves and so when they find that they have failed their belief system collapses.

The whole premise of the song is that without God life is full of hate, violence and lacking substance. Many would now argue that that is the world now even with God, but what I think is argued in this song is that without God there is no hope of ever attaining anything more. God is what brings an end to “chaos rampant in an age of mistrust” and with God we lose all hope of anything better.

This idea of hate filling the void left by God is also strongly echoed in the second Album I am looking at, God Hate’s us All. Released in 2001 this album is claimed to be Slayer’s most blasphemy filled outing to date. This statement is backed up with the album’s title, seemingly the opposite of what all major religions believe, and the controversial art work. The cover depicts a defaced bible whilst the linear notes contain passages from the book of Job with sections blacked out. Sadly the passages are blacked out at random and the defacing is a bit crude so it appears to be more the work of a child then being any form of intelligent Biblical commentary.

The album begins with an instrumental track named after another contradictory image, The darkness of Christ in which the band claim that rather then a source of light to the world Christ has brought suffering and pain.

Mankind in his insatiable search for divine
Knowledge has discarded all biblical teachings

Realizing that the strength of religion is the repression of
knowledge
All structures of religion have collapsed

Life prays for death
in the wake of the horror of these revelations

It was never imagined how graphic the reality that would be known as the end
of creation
Would manifest itself

We believe all this chaos and atrocity can be traced
Back to one single event

We hold these truths to be painfully self-evident
All men are not created equal
Only the strong will prosper
Only the strong will conquer
Only in the darkness of Christ have I realized
God Hates Us All

The album then goes straight into Disciple (listen here)which I believe to be the best Slayer have sounded since 1991’s Seasons. The track sees slayer tackling, and seemingly solving, the age old problem of evil or theodicy. Rather then try and come to a complex reasoning of the need to balance good and evil or pleasure or suffering Slayer makes the logical conclusion that if God exists he must hate the world and so allows evil things to happen.

Drones since the dawn of time
Compelled to live your sheltered lives
Not once has anyone ever seen
Such a rise of pure hypocrisy
I'll instigate I'll free your mind
I'll show you what I've known all this time

God Hates Us All, God Hates Us All
You know it's true God hates this place
You know it's true he hates this race

Homicide-Suicide
Hate heals, you should try it sometime
Strive for Peace with acts of war
The beauty of death we all adore
I have no faith distracting me
I know why your prayers will never be answered

God Hates Us All; God Hates Us All
He Fuckin' hates me

Pessimist, Terrorist targeting the next mark
Global chaos feeding on hysteria
Cut throat, slit your wrist, shoot you in the back fair game
Drug abuse, self abuse searching for the next high
Sounds a lot like hell is spreading all the time
I'm waiting for the day the whole world fucking dies
I never said I wanted to be God's disciple
I'll never be the one to blindly follow

Man made virus infecting the world
Self-destruct human time bomb
What if there is no God would you think the fuckin' same
Wasting your life in a leap of blind faith
Wake the fuck up can't ignore what I say
I got my own philosophy

I hate everyone equally
You can't tear that out of me
No segregation -separation
Just me in my world of enemies

I never said I wanted to be God's disciple
I'll never be the one to blindly follow
I'll never be the one to bear the cross-disciple

I reject this fuckin' race
I despise this fuckin' place

The song is a personal testimony of someone who has gone through a conversion experience. Said person has come to the realisation that God hates the world and so he/she has chosen to stop believing in God and in turn has transformed their lives. It is similar rhetoric to that given by aggressive Christian missionaries or those who give their testimonies of faith only mirrored in an anti-deistic light. Rather then the Christian notion of Love being the powerful force in someone’s life this person feels freed by hate. They hate everyone equally and no long feel enslaved by their positive emotions. It is the Christian conversion experience seen in mirror image.

It’s also the same theme explored in South of Heaven. Life, the world, human existence is filled with hate and violence when God or positive[3] faith is removed. Whilst the song claims God hates us all it is also seemingly arguing that without God there is hate. So when seen through the lens of negative theology it can be claimed that God therefore must be love.

Granted the song is predominantly talking about all the negative things faith has brought into the world but I believe that is more a criticism of human made religion rather then God.

One more strong theme found within this song is the idea of being a disciple by “choice”. The chorus continuously repeats “I never said I wanted to be God’s disciple”. I don’t want to fall into the trap of predestination here but I’m not sure that Christians actually do choose to have faith. Granted we chose to follow Christ’s teachings but again that is more to do with being compelled to do so by our faith which is not a choice. It is a strongly held belief that Christian faith is a gift of the Holy Spirit given to us and so we technically do not chose whether to have faith or not it's already there. I also can’t think of a time when I personally chose to believe, I just sort of did. So I would probably agree with the lyrics here, I never said I wanted to be God’s disciple it just sort of happened. I also want to just point out that I am not saying that God implants belief so that we lack free will, or that God chooses some and not others as predestination suggests, I am just thinking out loud, in type, so to speak.

The rest of the album features other references to faith and God as well as the usual Slayer themes of war and serial killers. New Faith is a strong diatribe against the dangers of blind faith and includes some excellent biblical criticism that is then unfortunately ruined in similar fashion to the childish cover with the line "I keep the Bible in a pool of blood so that none of it’s lies can affect me” Fantastic metal lyric it may be but intelligent, constructive theological discourse it is not. Nor does it try to be.  

And that is where I think Slayer are. Whilst I have tried to show that they do include some well thought out theological arguments about the nature, or rather what the nature of God is not, they are after all a metal band and aren’t really trying to do theology.

That said I believe they do manage to ask us questions of what faith looks like without God or how we as Christians would conduct our lives if we did not have God in our lives most notably with the idea of being freed to hate with out divine love.

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[1] http://knac.com/article.asp?ArticleID=4576

[2] 1 Thess 5.1-3

[3]  as opposed to people who’s faith leads them to acts of hatred

Bernard Mizeki's hidden messages

Bernard Mizeki, born in Mozambique and martyred at the age of 35 has become one of the most popular African saints in recent times. Remembered for his devoted teaching, linguistic talent and his help with translating the liturgies of the church into local dialects he is rightly celebrated in the Anglican churches calendar. He is also, probably less famously known, as a relative of two of our long standing St Chrysostom congregation members. 

Legend has it that Bernard would go around carving crosses into trees, as can be seen on his icon. This act seemed only to anger local tribe leaders and made no apparent difference to the success of his teaching. However I think this somewhat insignificant act of graffiti is actually an incredibly powerful way of spreading the gospel message. 

It reminds me of something I encounter everyday on my way to church. “£97 billion on new nuclear weapons, what idiot is going to pay for that?” 

A sticker on a lamppost just outside church at the crossing which like Bernard’s crosses probably gets missed by most people. But what about those who do see these tiny symbols or messages.

What appear at first, to be very little symbols, a simple two line carving or a small message actually hold incredibly powerful messages behind them.

The cross of Jesus symbolises his death, resurrection and life, the greatest message anyone can receive. So by carving his crosses Bernard was actually spreading the gospel in the simplest and easiest way imaginable.

It is hard to think of a simpler image that hides behind it such a powerful message.

But how can we spread this huge message in simple ways in our own lives? 

Through simple actions that make big differences to those that receive them. A hand shake or smile with a stranger, wearing a badge or slogan on your clothing, boycotting certain shops offering help to those in need.

Little actions that will often go unnoticed but convey powerful messages. Messages of hope, peace, love, reconciliation and acceptance. 

The kind of message that Bernard Mizeki was spreading through his tiny crosses, the same message that the still small voice of God is speaking through people every day. The most powerful message in the world.

Thoughts in prayer at 2:46am

So had my first 24hr Prayer vigil this week was a nice experience and would do it again, though probably not for a while. 

Some thoughts came to me over the course of the day and I thought I'd jot them down to preserve them for the annals of time.

First of all this passage, which is one of my favourites, stuck in my head and sort of set the theme for night.

Isaiah 6

A Vision of God in the Temple

In the year that King Uzziah died, I saw the Lord sitting on a throne, high and lofty; and the hem of his robe filled the temple. Seraphs were in attendance above him; each had six wings: with two they covered their faces, and with two they covered their feet, and with two they flew. And one called to another and said:
‘Holy, holy, holy is the Lord of hosts;
the whole earth is full of his glory.’
The pivots on the thresholds shook at the voices of those who called, and the house filled with smoke. And I said: ‘Woe is me! I am lost, for I am a man of unclean lips, and I live among a people of unclean lips; yet my eyes have seen the King, the Lord of hosts!’

 Then one of the seraphs flew to me, holding a live coal that had been taken from the altar with a pair of tongs. The seraph touched my mouth with it and said: ‘Now that this has touched your lips, your guilt has departed and your sin is blotted out.’ Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, ‘Whom shall I send, and who will go for us?’ 

And I said,

 ‘Here I am Lord; send me!’ 

2:46am - My faith is anger and passion. Anger at the way Christianity is used to justify hate, violence and oppression. Anger at the reluctance of the church to make a change, to stay silent and put down.
Passion to make a change - to proclaim sight to the blind, to set the captives free and to proclaim the year of the Lord's favour. 
Two others join me, brothers in Christ, silently pray with me. One is new to faith, one is close to me. We are all different, have different relationships to God but are united here. 
I start to ask God does he still want me as a priest as it's no longer clear to me the thoughts turn round to me desperately wanting to be a priest and i end up no longer asking but screaming like Isaiah "Here I am lord; send me!"

5:00am - The birds start to sing and the sunrises, I start to repent.
I pray alongside 3 of my sisters. This is a different kind of relationship to that with my brothers, tea is made love is shared and support is acknowledged as opposed to the stern, unspoken love between brothers. I pray for equality between people, Gender, sex, race and class. "There they are Lord; send them!"

7:00am - More people come to pray. We make each other cups of tea and one brings in vegan sausage sandwiches for breakfast. There is laughter, love and fellowship. We experience Joy in our shared faith. The silence and stillness brings us together. "Here we are Lord; send us"

8:50am - I am joined by an old colleague, some one I cared incredibly deeply for. She has received some bad news, and her life feels like it is being held back. I share in her pain. "here she is lord; send her!"

2:46pm - Funny how spending so much time in silence can bring you closer to each other as well as God. We each have expereinced the call from God to do something about the world, no matter how big or small a change we wish to see we all want to do it.

"here I am lord; send me!"